TAR 12 – Episode 5 – Counting your lucky stars
So, we didn’t see animals in this episode (I do NOT count corporate shill gnomes) so my dream of a final roadblock — where the contestants have to make animal noises in the order in which they appeared in the race — is apparently not going to happen. Sigh.
Instead we got stilt-walking and counting – oh boy do we have counting! Counting like the race depends on it. Which it did.
Oh well, more on this frustrating episode after the jump…
Order of finish:
Rachel & TK – Their use of a local Fern and their physical prowess allowed them to best the goths in the end. Maybe they’re getting smarter as the race goes along, but I’m not so sure. There is a lot of brawn to this race, and if comes down to physical challenges near the end, these guys should right in the pack. Just don’t ask them to read a map.
Kynt & Vyxsin – These two are for real. And I don’t just mean real Goths, I mean real, honest-to-goodness racers. I love that I’m more irritated by the pampered blondes than the pink people. I’m going to cue up some Siouxsie and the Banshees in their honor when they win a leg. I’m also seriously reconsidering denying her MySpace invite.
Ronald & Christina – Ron continues to be an pain, as well as a damn drama queen. We get it, you’ve got a hernia. Get past it! (This from a man who whined for months about a single broken finger, so put it in perspective.) I’d like to have a Mute Ron button for future episodes, please. Could someone get on that? Now I’m just waiting for Christina’s boiling point to be reached, and THEN the fur will fly. They also just seemed to settle for the worst flight option, which doesn’t bode well at all for this race. The airport maneuvering is one of those skills that can make or break you. If you suck at it, you might as well pack up your hernia and go home.
Azaria & Hendekea – Or, the TAR Jack and Meg White. (Are they siblings, lovers, husband and wife? It’s so confusing.) OK, I’ve turned a full 360 degrees on this team. At first, they bored me, then they thrilled me for besting Nate and Jen, and now I’m back to being bored/irritated by their smug-as-shit attitudes. You’re smugging your way out of my hearts, incest twins. Shape up or get lost.
Jennifer & Nathan – I can hear them bickering in my sleep. Please, please, please go away. Loved the interrupting shriek that Jen threw at Nate during CountFest 2007: “Don’t let anyone distract you!” … because that helps. Add that to Nate being just as big an ass and they’ve already won the award for Best TAR Villians this season. Too bad you don’t win an all-expenses paid trip off of the show for that. Again, I’m positive that their ability to annoy pushes them headlong into the finals. Anyone wonder now why he strayed?
Nicolas & Donald – It looked like curtains for these guys a few times this episode. Stumbling on the solely-French-speaking reservation agent, drawing a tricky and seemingly random Roadblock destination that was perhaps the hardest to find — these guys just bled time and looked fairly clueless doing it. But the alt-country gods smiled upon them and allowed them to scoot past the blondes on the final task. Nick and Don just can’t afford another leg like this. Of course, I’m rooting for them, not just because they’re local guys, but because they’ve got the best attitude about the race in general.
Shana & Jennifer – Not so sad to see them go, since Jennifer just coined my favorite phrase of the season so far, which I’ll try to paraphrase from memory. Filled with seriousness and determination regarding the task ahead, she assured her partner, “I am EXCELLENT at counting!” Her delivery just cracked me the hell up, like “No, really, I majored in it!” The fact that I really didn’t care when they nearly died by pulling out in front of on oncoming bus makes me realize they were dead to me long before that near-miss. Bye-bye, bubbleheads.
Predicted order of Philimination:
1. Nicolas & Donald
2. Kynt & Vyxsin
3. Ronald & Christina
Shana & Jennifer
Kate & Pat
6. Azaria & Hendekea
Ari & Staella
Marianna & Julia
9. Rachel & TK
Lorena & Jason
11. Jennifer & Nathan
Actual order of Philimination:
1. Ari & Staella
2. Kate & Pat
3. Marianna & Julia
4. Lorena & Jason
5. Shana & Jennifer
Huzzah – I finally picked an eliminated team. I know, I know, it’s the blind squirrel and the nut analogy.
OK, I’m STILL thinking that this is the week Ron & Christina will be taken down, but I’m going to pick Jennifer & Nathan just because I really always root against them. And wouldn’t the world (at least the one I watch on television) be a better place without them?
More to come…