Pain bad, drugs good

[New header: Malcolm McDowell in Lindsay Anderson’s If… Spoiler: It lacks a bit of punch, post-Columbine.]

I’ve been out of commission with a broken finger. Learn from me:

1. Don’t play 16-inch “Chicago-style” softball without gloves. It’s a crazy game played by guys who want to be macho who cry like bitches when they get hurt. I don’t care how much deep-dish pizza they promise you, it’s a trap.

2. If you play “Chicago-style” softball (remember that pesky Rule 1?), don’t assume that just because you made a great play on a screaming line drive that you haven’t also truly injured yourself. Also, don’t continue to play another five innings with said injury, because “the team needs you”. Look out for number one, gimpy.

3. If you injure yourself, tend to the injury ASAP. Don’t wait until 6 days later when you’re on vacation with your family to say, “Hey, why don’t we visit the local emergency room?” It’s costly, and certainly not what anyone imagined for a fun activity.

4. When the doctors determine that they’ll need to make you bleed to repair you, don’t refuse the pain medication. I cannot stress that enough, TAKE THE VICODIN.

5. When the medical bills come rolling in, remember that you’re still recovering from surgery and don’t strain yourself by putting your fist/foot/head/loved one through a wall.

Long story short, I’ve got these lovely (read: disgusting) pins sticking out of my right index finger for at least another week. Typing and using a mouse has been darn near impossible, as you can imagine. It’s been frustrating and painful, but at least the drugs are amaaaaazing. Sure, I get nauseous every 3-4 hours, but Abbott Laboratories never promised me a rose garden, did they?

During the hiatus, my son turned three. We had a little party with friends and family and he made out like a bandit like always. The best part: he’s nearly potty-trained. I can actually envision the day when we won’t have to deal with poopy pants. I cry every time I think of it. It’s like a tiny gift from heaven.

Back to movie blogging soon.

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Posted on October 22, 2007, in Random Notes, The real world and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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